| Location | Milton Keynes |
| Age | 1 day |
| Cause of Death | Premature Birth |
| Date of Birth | 22/01/2003 |
| Date of Death | 23/01/2003 |
| Visitors | 426 since 14/10/2009 |
| Creator |
I had a pretty rough pregnancy from about 18 weeks, I kept having protein in my urine. But kept
getting sent away. When i was about 20 weeks i was admitted to hospital as there was blood in my
urine, they told me this was an infection and was kept in for 3 days for I.V antibiotics.
Just after christmas my blood pressure started rising and there was still protein in my urine. They
started keeping a bit of a closer eye on me. I went to my G.P on Monday 20th January to get my blood
pressure checked, and to say i was concerned i hadnt felt the baby move, my blood pressure was very
high at 146/115 i was sent to the hospital and was told not to expect going home in the near future.
I was kept in over night and in the morning i told them that i still hadnt felt the baby move. They
finally agreed to scan me, she wouldnt move then either. Not once did they say she seemed small.
Later that evening they put my on the trace machine which was quite hard as i am a larger lady and
she was only 26 +4 days. By about 9.00 o clock they had a sort of reading which the midwifes werent
to happy with, so then they said do another hour and on the oncall doc would be called.
About 11.00 o clock the doctor came and checked the readings and she was also not happy as they were
very flat. She organised for a portible scanner, this finally arrived at about midnight, while she
was scanning me she asked me when i had lost most of my waters? (i didnt know i had, there was no
big gush which was what i was expecting) She also said when did they notice she was small for her
dates? (again no one had)
Then it was all systems go, emergancy C section!! My partner was called and so was my mum. Well at
03.35 on Wednesday 22nd January my beautiful baby girl was born. She was whisked away to SCBU.
I was told she was critical and they had to revive her and she was very poorly on a ventalater. All
i wanted to do was see her.
Finally i got some feeling back in my body and i was adament i wanted to see her, so for the first
time at 09.30 i got to see my baby girl. OMG never ever did i think or expect her to be soooooo
tiny. But she was perfect.
Later that day they said she was doing better and took her off the ventalator and she was on
assisted breathing. Sadly but late evening she was very tiered and was put back on fully assisted
breathing.
I remember sitting with her from midnight till about 3 in the morning, holding her tiny hand,
talking to her and just sitting looking at her. Every time i got up to go to bed she made this tiny
little crying sound, so i would sit down again.
Thursday morning i wanted to see her, but they said she had taken a turn for the worse and they were
working on her.
I couldnt get to see her till 4 pm. There were 3 doctors there by her side my heart sank, they told
me that she had 2 lung bleeds and that she wasnt getting enough oxygen to her blood system.
At about 6.00 they were trying her on a different ventalator and that was the last thing they could
do for her. By 7 pm they told me it wasnt working and that there was no more they could do for her.
All i remember was my legs going wobbly, everything went into slow motion, voices disorted. I
couldnt believe what i was hearing, i was her mummy i am supposed to help her, keep her safe. I
couldnt understand that there was nothing in my power i could do.
My little girl feel asleep in my arms at 19.35 aged 40 hours to the second.
Shakira Abbi Born 22/01/03 - Fell asleep 23/01/05
R.I.P little angel, mummy misses you and loves you will all her heart. My bright shinning star.
xxxxxxxxxxx
Most people walk in and out of your life.
......oooO.......... ....
.....(....).....Oooo ...
......)../.....(.... )....
.....(_/.......)../. ....
...............(_/.. .....
But only Loved ones leave footprints in your heart.
Sending lots of love from Charlies Mummy xxx
Morning princess, mummy and your little brother have a busy day today, doesnt mean i wont be thinking of you. Have a lovely day playing with all your angel friends. Love and miss you every second of every day.
love you lots mummy xx
Hey baby girl
Mummy here agian, getting ready to light my candles for the wave of light. Hope u and all your angel babies love all the pretty lights.
love u lots sweet heart xxxx
To The Child I'll Never Know - by Gloria Dianne
How can I say Good Bye
When I never said Hello,
Why does my heart grieve
For the child I'll never know?
You were a part of me
For just a little while.
I grieve because I'll never see
The magic in your smile.
I grieve for all the unsaid words
That you will never say.
I grieve that I will never see
You happily at play.
I grieve for all the lullabies
That will remain unsung.
I grieve because I'll never see
Your face gleaming like the sun.
I grieve because you will never know
The comfort of my touch.
I grieve because you will never know
That you were loved so much.
I grieve for all the tomorrows
That will never be.
I grieve because God chose
To take you back from me.
You live among the Angels now
Your earthly mission done,
You will be so dearly missed
Good-Bye my little one.
X X
Fly- by celine dion
This song i played for at her funeral, im trying to get it to play on her memorial but for now here are the words
Fly by Celine Dion
Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
the softest cloud, the whitest dove
upon the wind of heavens love
past the planets and the stars
leave this lonely world of ours
escape the sorrow and the pain
and fly again
Fly fly precious one
your endless journey has begun
take your gentle happiness
far too beautiful for this
cross over to the other shore
there is peace for evermore
but hold this mem'ry bittersweet
until we meet
Fly fly do not fear
dont waste a breath, dont shed a tear
your heart is pure, your soul is free
be on your way, dont wait for me
above the universe you'll climb
on beyond the hands of time
the moon will rise, the sun will set
but i wont forget
Fly fly little wing
fly where only angels sing
fly away the time is right
go now .............. find the light
My Poem to u little girl xxxx
Here is the reading that i wrote to be read at Shakira's Funeral, Her daddy read it out which i am so proud of him for doing.
To my Darling Shakira Abbi
We may not have spent years together
We may not have spent months together
But I do know how much happiness you brought to my
lives in just those few hours.
You were the most beautiful little girl i had ever seen.
Those long thick eyelashes, that jet black hair and that
perfect tiny body with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
I know you were tiny in body but i also know your big in spirt.
That bright shinning star in the sky
will remind me always that your by my side
sleep well my angel, i will miss you so much
I love you with all my heart.
Good night
sweet dreams
love mummy and daddy xx
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Hey baby girl
Hi princess, one of my angel mummy friends told me about this site, so i have made u a special page for a special girl.
I love u so much and miss you every day.
Mummy is going to bed now, so night night sweet dreams baby girl
love u lots xxxxxxxxx
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